Dying Art: Living a simple life and techno-stress

 

Have you ever wanted to slow down and simplify your life? In an age of technology that demands so much of our attention and time the question begs to be asked: Do we really need to be hooked up to our smartphones, tablets, and computers 24/7?

It is no small feat that in only 15 years (roughly) we have so drastically changed in our level of connection via technology (the advent of the smartphone helped foster this) and the lack of connection in real life.

There is even a term for the stress people experience from spending too much time on social networking sites as they imagine that they are not living it up like their friends are…it’s called FOMO (fear of missing out).

Computers, smartphones, and tablets all have there place in our lives since we inescapably live in an age of technology. And yet, we must strive to unplug ourselves from our devices and enjoy the day we are living: play with our pets or kids instead of ignoring them so we can play/work on our devices, actually enjoying a sunset/sunrise/nature instead of just taking pictures on our phones to share online, going to live concerts/musical performances and leaving the phone turned off the entire time.

Living a life that is green & balanced includes seeking spiritual and mental balance. Living the simple green life simply means to enjoy the day you are living in some small way. Basically, stop and smell the roses, pet the puppy, laugh at a joke, and for pete’s sake turn off that smartphone when someone is talking to you! This is better for your mental health as well as your relationships/friendships.

Below is a pineapple I drew in an art class. Art class is a great place to get in “the zone” as it allows you to escape the endless left-bran chatter (something that the techno-stress of 24/7 smartphone/device connection usually promotes). I was a lot less anxious while I was in art class, this was something I noticed right away.

So here are my tips for simplifying your day, at least in a small way:

1. Turn off your smartphone when you are eating or having coffee/tea with your family/friends. Give them your full attention.
2. Go out and do a fun activity (hike, bike, power walk, attend a concert/musical performance, a scenic drive with a loved one/friend, etc) and do NOT post it to your Instagram/Twitter/Facebook/etc. At the least resist the temptation to post it until the day after you do your fun activity.
3. Take up a new activity (such as volunteering at a soup kitchen, attending an evening college class, learning a musical instrument, learning to draw or paint, or running a marathon) that will take too much attention/focus to even allow you to take out your smartphone or check your computer.
4. Read a book, write a story (by hand in a notebook and not on the computer, at least initially), or learn to cook/bake something. Basically #3 & 4 encompass the idea that you should find something you’ve always wanted to do and do that instead of being connected to technology 24/7.

What are some of your suggestions for getting away from your computer/tablet/smartphone? What is your idea of the simple green life? What do you do to escape techno-stress and combat the fear of missing out?

 

Wordless Wednesday: Making Jewelry

In addition to writing about healthy living and life, I am also a jewelry creator/designer at Pepaqua Designs. I sell my goods on Etsy (under the username Pepaqua) and at craft shows, and in this post I am previewing some of my latest creations. I love to make jewelry and create art. Not only is it a great way to make extra money, but it’s also a way to get “in the zone” and tune out the world for awhile. It’s such great stress relief! Tomorrow I will be back with a recipe for pear crisp. Have a lovely day!

I love these little turquoise turtle beads!

These were made with the turquoise sea turtles, shell shaped beads, and dyed shell beads. I’m loving this theme!

Abalone pendant, howlite shard beads, amethyst stone beads, and shell beads make this a lovely and unique necklace! So pretty!

Lazy Day: Coffee, Chocolate, and Random Thoughts

So today is a post about lazy days of rest. We all need them and feel guilty for having them, but it is something everyone needs from time to time. A day without plans, obligations, restrictions, rules, or busy-ness. A day that is unstructured and open to randomness. Yesterday was that kind of day for me, as I did what I felt like doing, woke up when I wanted to, and ate what sounded good (and stopped eating when my body said so). These kinds of days are good for the heart, mind, and body in a spiritual and physical/physiological way that helps you rest and re-set yourself for the coming week.

When you don’t take the time to rest and enjoy a day you find yourself stressed, anxious, depressed, and overly tired. Truthfully this is caused by a combination of things: poor diet, lack of sleep, lack of adequate exercise,  and constantly being overworked. But for now, I am just talking about the overwork/stress part of the equation. Stress is a big-time mood killer that can cause a lot of health problems and is just as important to manage as your eating, sleeping, and exercise habits.

For me this means I have to keep myself in check with the other big three (exercise, eating, and sleep) as well as taking a day off to have unscheduled creative time. When I have time to myself great things can happen!

Here are photo examples of what I do on unscheduled days:

1. Walk on the wharf in Santa Barbara, Ca with my husband 
2. Go to a nice coffee shop & have a latte (with latte art on it, which was cool) & a chocolate croissant (husband got green tea and a cookie)  
3. Work on a painting based on a picture I took a few years ago (did this painting in about 4 hours total, sorry it’s a little whited out/bright)
4. Baking or cooking something tasty and fun

I need to be clear about one thing: I did most of these things on different days of relaxing (#1 and #2 were on the same day, the others were different days). You don’t have to do a million things on your day of rest. Pick a hobby you have been neglecting and get back to working on it, even if that’s the only thing you do that day!

And sometimes a lazy day is just about coffee and chocolate, and a good TV show or book (Dr Who or Divergent anyone?)! What does your lazy/relaxing day look like? Do you have any suggestions about stress reduction? I’d love to hear them!

Until next time! ^_^

Girl Meets Boy

The biggest experience that has changed my life would be meeting/dating my husband and later marrying him. I know a lot of people say this, but for me it holds true.

Back in the spring/summer of 2007, I had just gotten out of a bad (toxic) long distance relationship that caused me to become deeply depressed and take anti-depressants for awhile. I was not in a place where I was actively seeking romance or a serious relationship, or ANY relationship with a guy for that matter!

Well, I was browsing through my matches on a dating site one day (I was still getting the notifications in my inbox and wanted to cancel my account) and I came upon D’s profile (my husband). Now, it had been awhile since my break-up, a few months at least, and so I was interested in talking to D but not interested in someone who would jerk me around again. No, I was going to be cautious this time. I promised myself  that I would be careful.

Well, as things usually go we talked online and on the phone for about 6 weeks before deciding that we needed to plan on meeting in person. Since this was in the fall of 2007 already, we decided that he would come and visit me (we lived about 600 miles from each other at the time).

So, the holidays came and went, and he came to visit a day or so after Christmas and stayed till after New Year’s.  His visit was the greatest Christmas gift I could have asked for at that time. We talked and learned more about each other, and most importantly we became better friends before deciding to be in a long distance relationship. We shared many of the same spiritual beliefs, morals, and some of the same hobbies. It was obvious that D was a much better match for me than my last boyfriend and so I began to open up more to D.

D and I goofing around when he visited during Dec. 2007.

When he headed home, we stayed in touch by email, IM, and phone between our jobs/college/etc and we continued to grow closer to each other.

Fast-forward a few months and I come to a place where I am making a very important decision. I can either stay in my (very small) hometown and stagnate or I can visit and then maybe move closer to D. The choice was still difficult but I had the courage to leave what I knew, what was comfortable , and venture into the unknown by moving to Southern California, living within 10 miles of D, finding a job, and making new friends, etc. Well, I took the plunge and moved to D’s home city with only a carry on bag and a couple boxes that I mailed to D with my extra clothes and a few books, etc in them.

It was no looking back! I plunged into college in my new home city and got a job a few months after moving, and even made friends with a few new people including my roommate (she was really a character!).

Us on the beach at night, winter 2008 when we were engaged.

As all this was taking place our relationship became more serious and a year after we had met we were engaged and planning our wedding. Although this seems fast for some people, we actually were in premarital counseling for our whole 5 month engagement.

He was serious about me and I about him. We took each other seriously and he was really touched by the fact that I had moved so far from my home to be closer to him. Neither of us had someone else who really took us seriously in a romantic relationship and we found that in each other.

So we were married early in 2009 and it (along with dating D and moving) were the best experiences I have had in my life. Together I feel like we are a team and can take on life’s challenges more easily because we are there to cheer each other on and encourage each other on a daily basis.

Things worked out well for us because we love and respect each other. We hear what the other person has to say and are sure to watch each other’s back, etc. This, along with D being a great guy anyway, is why getting dating and getting married to D are my greatest life experiences

Love is more important to living and to a person’s health than almost anything else (except oxygen)! Also, having great experiences and facing challenging decisions can only sharpen  one’s insight and better one’s life in the long run.

What are the best experiences that you have had?  What have been some of your toughest challenges?

Us goofing around as we always do,even after almost 5 yrs of marriage!

I love this guy!

Reducing Stress: 10 Quick Ways to Relax

Recently I went to the beach, as I am lucky enough to live only 6 miles from it… a beach in Southern California no less! The photo in this post is from my recent walk at the beach which was a great way to relax; lucky me!

Are you having one of those days? One of those days where you are extremely stressed out and wish you could go back to those days when you were a kid and got a summer vacation? Well, I have those days too and I have found the following ten things help me to unwind on those days when I don’t have a lot of time to get away from it all (times when I can only spare somewhere from 5 to 30 minutes for relaxing and de-stressing myself on that day).

Here are 10 quick ways to relax:

1. Close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.

2. While sitting down on a chair, lace your fingers together over your head, and stretch with palms facing up for 15-20 seconds. After that you can stretch your legs out in front of you, alternately flexing and pointing your feet for 15-20 seconds and then release.

3. Laugh often! Keep a book of jokes nearby as well as favorite cartoons clipped form a newspaper or magazine ( or printed off of a webcomic). This will help you laugh more often. Also be sure to look for jokes while online (such as web-comics) and watch funny videos on Youtube.

4. Take a 10 minute walk. Remember to breathe deeply and enjoy your surroundings, maybe even stop to smell the roses, as the saying goes!

5. Talk things over with a friend when you feel stressed. Having a shoulder to lean on can be a great stress reducer, as studies have shown that having good friends/social contacts leads to a longer and happier life.

6. Take the time to visualise yourself in  peaceful surroundings– at the beach,  in a mountain meadow, or  in a hammock (this applies if you cannot actually go to your pleasant scene/place because of a time constraint… because if you can go to the forest/beach/hammock to relax be sure to do so!).

7. Make and enjoy a cup of your favorite non-alcoholic beverage (such as iced tea, green tea, iced coffee, lemonade, hot chocolate, or flavored water). Sip it slowly and enjoy it!

8. Give yourself a 5 minute massage. Start by rubbing your temple, then your shoulders, then massage in between your fingers (as well as the palm of your hand) with the opposite hand (do this for each hand),  and then massage the back of your neck.

9. Pause to enjoy a healthy snack, such as an apple,  a small smoothie, some baby carrots or celery w/ hummus, or some raw nuts.

10. Turn on some soothing music to relax your stressed out mind and body. Be sure to play music that you find relaxing and soothing.

I hope you find that one (or all!) of these tips help you take the time to relax today. We all need that little bit of “me time” to unwind, even if it is for only a few moments! Have a great weekend!

Silly Days: Hobbies & Dealing with Stress

Have you ever done something silly just to relieve your stress from everyday life (and all of its backbreaking/tiresome/loathsome/boring/irritating) tasks? Well, over the past couple years something I’ve come to realize is that acting like an adult all the time is completely overrated.

Me sneaking up on the hubby. ^_^

Now when I look back at the times when my mom was acting silly when I was a kid/teen and I was embarrassed…Well, I get it. Being silly is just one of the ways to reduce stress since it usually results in laughter…and laughing is good for you (as long you are not being cruel to someone in the process).  Laughing is now being used to help people dealing with painful treatments and illness…it lessens their pain, imagine that! So my mom was probably just stressed and needed a laugh and was not intentionally being embarrassing (no seriously, I believe this…my mom is very nice)! I cannot count the number of studies I’ve read that report that it is SO important to reduce stress. The why do you and I always punish ourselves for being silly or just having fun?

Of course in excess having fun may mean losing a job or relationship if you never take anything seriously. What I am saying is that many of us in the modern world take life FAR too seriously on a 24/7 basis; this is causing us to drop dead from high blood pressure, excessive weight gain, and heart attacks which are partly due to the stress itself!

Ok, ok,  let me get off my health tangent and get back to what I was talking about with having fun. Lately I cannot get enough of having some “me” time everyday while I’m off of school for the summer. I work on painting pictures (which is very relaxing and something I am pretty decent at), drawing, writing, painting my nails every way I can (based on tutorials found on Pinterest of course), cooking new recipes and revamping old recipes, and taking time everyday to laugh at a funny animal video and to meditate on a Scripture and/or pray. Sometimes I am very silly and blast my favorite music and sing , and then dance around the room. All in all I am trying everything I can to be silly and reduce stress in my life. These things really do help me personally.

I painted my nails white ,then put on strips of tape on each nail that had been painted other colors. Really, I was having fun with it. ^_^

So, I suggest that if you are feeling stressed that you truly make the effort to do something you enjoy for at least 30 minutes (or an hour if you can) EVERY day. If you can’t manage to set aside that much time in one chunk…break it down and do little fun things. Take that walk, sing in the car, take time to meditate, try a new hobby, be silly with your kids or pets (or significant other/spouse), but most of all be sure to laugh EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Questions for you: What are the things you do to reduce stress and/or laugh/be silly?  If you are an introvert what do you enjoy doing/what helps you laugh/be silly/enjoy life? Same question for you extroverts and in-betweens!

Guten Abend, meine freund(s).   ^_^

The husband and I goofing around. ^_^

Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday to me! 28 years ago I was born and I hope that in time I will be able to play a small part in helping to make the world a little brighter from me being here.

What do birthdays mean to you? Are they just a number or do you use them as markers of your accomplishments so far in your life? Do you have fun on your birthday w/ friends/family or just spend it alone? (Even though I am an introvert I do love to spend my birthday with my family. 🙂 )

Despite the fact I am only 28  as of today, I feel as though there is so much I have not done and so many people I am losing touch with due to only speaking with them online/via email/etc. I want to find ways to reach out sometimes even though my introverted self is more comfortable behind a screen (we all need a certain level of human interaction… of the face to face variety!).

And now I will share a few photos from my life to show you the kind of woman I’ve grown up to be so far. I will add a few more pictures to this post as I find them. 🙂

A picture of me with my mom at age 2 or so. It seems I look a lot like her now that I'm an adult.

Me at my 18th birthday with my hair dyed red. I was so young! ^_^

Me now at age 28.

A picture of cheesecake with lemon curd and berries. I will be eating cheesecake later today as I always do on my b-day. Wanted to do a picture to show you what I plan on eating today. ^_^

Well, I hope you enjoyed my post and I am off to have a happy birthday! Please think about my questions though in the meantime:

—-What do birthdays mean to you?
—-How do you view aging?
—-Do you feel disconnected from people more than before because of technology?
—-Do you enjoy spending your birthdays alone or with friends/family?—– Do you like cheesecake on your birthday (or what do you eat on your birthday)? ——What do you like to do on your birthday (if anything?)?

Auf Wiedersehn! (Until we meet again!)

Scandinavian Festival 2012

Guten Tag meine Blogger und Leser Freunden (Good day my blogger and reader friends)!

On April 14th my husband and I went to the local Scandinavian Festival at Cal Lutheran University.

My husband and I having fun enjoying Scandinavian stuff. ^_^
Yay for learning about Vikings and eating good food!

This is the flyer we got for the festival. 🙂

It was really cool seeing all the Scandinavian stuff from several countries, specifically stuff that was: Belgian, Swedish, Norwegian, Icelandic, and Danish.

Here's a guy that was dressed up as a traditional Viking. Pretty cool!

One of many Viking tents we saw in the Viking reenactment area at the festival.

While we were there we ate a “Viking Dog” (Scandinavian Polish Sausage type hot dog with fried onions on top).

This was the sign. These were yummy hot dogs! :9

Also we had to get some traditional Aebleskivers (Danish Dumpling/Cake things) that came with berry sauce.

Aebleskiver (Traditional Danish dumpling/cake) with a yummy berry sauce and powdered sugar on them. SUPER YUMMY! These ones were made by a place that comes from Solvang, CA. My husband was getting ready to eat them as I took the picture!

We watched people do traditional dances and make some traditional Scandinavian foods. It is so interesting to explore one’s heritage. Even though I am mainly Dutch and German (other Germanic nations, with a few other places such as Czech Republic mixed in) by heritage, I am always interested in learning about all of  Scandinavia as a whole since these countries represent most of my husband’s heritage (and technically Dutch people are Scandinavian, just not as well represented as such at festivals).

When you are married to someone you are usually interested in some of the same things (maybe some people have totally different interests but that is not the case for D and I). In our case we both love to speak in German to each other, talk about & eat good food, talk about good books, watch comedies and fantasy movies/shows together (LOTR all the way!), and to learn more about the history of our families and their heritage. Going to this festival is always great for D because it makes him feel connected to his ancestors and I feel more connected to him. It’s just a cool and fun experience  overall.

Of course we couldn’t JUST eat the food we had to buy a couple souvenirs while we were there. My husband got himself a really cool Viking shirt. The guy who makes them says it will change color in the wash and (after 2-3 washes) will look all “vintage”. This made my hubby very pleased.

This cool Viking image is from the back of the t-shirt my husband bought. He is really into all things Nordic and Viking. I guess that's because he's part Danish, Swedish, and Norwegian! He almost all Scandinavian/Germanic!

Of course D didn’t want me to feel left out so he got me a ring. How sweet is that? I love this guy to bits…my silly/funny/smart Scandinavian/German/Scottish husband.  ^_^

I really appreciated getting the ring and also doing some shopping for a gift for my mom’s birthday. I ended up getting her a Danish cookbook, which she thought was cool.

The ring my husband got me at the festival. It is my favorite color, blue-green/aqua. How nice! ❤

All in all it was a very fun day for both of us to explore the heritage of my husband (and me by marriage and by my own Dutch roots). Hope you all have enjoyed the photos!

For now I will say: Auf Wiedersehen (until we meet again)! Sorry for the lack of posts lately, I have been preoccupied with German homework and Algebra homework lately, but I only have a couple more weeks of school and then I’m free for the summer, yay!  ALSO, Friday is my birthday…I am turning @#…ha, NO I am not telling! 😛

Us making silly faces after getting home from the Scandinavian Festival. 🙂

Is Age Just a Number?

Is age just a number? Should I define myself by my chronological age or the age I “feel” I am or both (or neither)? Should I let age decide how I feel, my body’s (new) aches and pains, the 5 gray hairs I’ve found, or any of it at all? Should I just enjoy my life?

I am reflecting on what I have accomplished as a young-ish adult and wonder to myself, “Why haven’t I done more before now and why do I wait so long to do things?”  In a way it makes me think that I have let myself down in a lot of ways. Why didn’t I try to finish college sooner? Could I have gotten a better job if I made the effort to do so? Would I have ever learned to surf if I made the effort to become a good swimmer?

Of course the answer is that I probably could have done a lot more if I had tried to during my teens and early twenties. I have a myriad of excuses about why I didn’t do those things. Some of the excuses are completely valid and border on being reasons instead of excuses such as not having the money to do certain things (like travel the world…it’s a bit hard to do when the best job in town pays college students only $1000 a month before taxes), while other excuses were never and will never BE valid (such as being afraid to learn to swim or embarrassed if someone hears me singing to myself).

I had dreams that probably would not have come true because they don’t fit my introverted personality (being an actor for instance) but that does not mean I should stop trying to do the things I care about (singing, learning to swim, etc).

Why do we place such limitations on ourselves? Why are we so afraid to LIVE? And most of all, why do we blame others or blame the situation when we often are letting ourselves down?

I am vowing to push myself to accomplish my goals as: a wife, a friend, a blogger/writer, a natural foods/nutrition researcher, an artist,  a college student, a person who is learning to do some stuff (swimming, etc) . Who is with me on this? Are YOU going to crack down on your own laziness and kick your backside into gear…and really start LIVING TO THE FULLEST? I dare you to follow me on this road to a more productive, healthier, and less stressful life. Because life is only stressful when you do not dare to live out your dreams and accomplish your goals. Also, when you seek to accomplish your goals be sure to help others as that is the best feeling in the world and it GREATLY reduces stress.

My point is don’t be afraid to dream and to try new things even if you are: feeling your body aging, seeing the gray hair become more apparent, watching the years tick by with a  greater age-number attached to you. I am almost 28 and I do regret not taking more opportunities that came my way, but I am vowing to turn this tide around and start on my goals. I believe it’s never too late to learn something new!  ^_^

A Soft Answer: The Bully Story

              (http://www.medicinalmarzipan.com/body-lovin-projects/teen-week/)

When I was in high school I was always a healthy weight for my height and body type (not too small or obese either). As a teen I had a lot of issues with self esteem, but I did not struggle with my weight (lucky me I guess?). I did not tie my self esteem to weighing a certain amount because my parents raised me to have a healthy body image. Maybe I was also a bit sheltered from the world’s views because I was homeschooled K-12, but that seemed to give me an extra layer of protective skin when dealing with bullies and difficult friends.

Well, when I was 14-17 years old I attended a lot of youth programs and youth group activities because those were the things you did in a small town if you were one of the “good” kids (ie: not a druggie or an alcoholic).  It was during this time that I became friends with Carla (not her real name) and also began to have run ins with a bully named Lizzie (not her real name either, using fake names for “Carla’s” privacy). Carla and Lizzie attended the same private school and I saw each of them separately in various youth activities I was a member of.

I had known of Lizzie for quite awhile before she started fighting with me, since she had a bad attitude and reputation that were well known in the small community of 15,000 people that we both lived in. I had seen her making catty comments and gossiping about other girls who were her supposed friends to their faces AND behind their backs. The strange thing is all the girls feared her despite the fact that she did not have money, good looks, or anything that would be the normal supposed “qualities” of a stereotypical female high school bully. In reality she had a poor family upbringing through foster homes and was just an average looking girl who struggled to accept her body like the rest of us.

For several months Lizzie and I passed each other at youth group meetings and events without any trouble between us, mostly since I had no reason to talk to her (I am a reserved person and tend to not talk unless I feel I have something important to say, that was the case when I was a teen also), but then the day came when she decided I was a problem, a “troublemaker”.

It started the day that I sat in “her” chair at the youth meeting. Every seat was taken and I sat down because I had already seen Lizzie sitting across the room talking to someone else. Suddenly she was leaning over me glaring and saying, “That was MY chair! You stole my chair! Move!” The guy sitting near me whispered to ignore her and it bolstered my courage a bit…I stayed put and drank my soda. Lizzie continued to glare at me and after the two of us (her standing, me sitting) mad dogged/did a Western cowboy stare-off for at least two minutes, she finally relented and asked a person to put another chair up for her to sit in.

Later on two different occasions Lizzie tried to taunt me with, “Should you be eating that pizza/cookie/whatever food was at the event? Won’t you get soooooo fat, fat, fat?” I would ignore her and she would snort in disgust at me as I walked away and happily munched on my pizza/cookies/etc and wash it down with my soda and then smile at her.

My final confrontation with Lizzie happened after my friend Carla came to me one day with puffy, red rimmed eyes. It was obvious she had been crying all day and that Lizzie had gotten to her again. Since the two of them went to the same school and I didn’t attend that school…well, there wasn’t a lot I could do to help Carla in her confrontations with Lizzie except offer her my support and a shoulder to cry on. Lizzie usually would use the same, “Ooohh, are you going to eat that? It’ll make you fat you little piggie!” snarky comments on Carla (and a few other girls) that she had attempted to use on me. The problem is that it worked on Carla because she had very little, if any, love for her body and was constantly on a diet, and I would probably say now (in retrospect) that Carla suffered from a form of disordered eating.

I told Carla that, since we were at a youth group meeting, we should pray for Lizzie and the stress between her and Carla. I was mainly doing this to comfort my friend more than to “do” anything to bother Lizzie in any way. I actually felt bad for Lizzie sometimes because I knew she was a foster kid who was adopted at 16 and that it was a hard life. I had also come from a poor background and so, weirdly, we had that in common. I didn’t like her, but I didn’t hate her either.

Of course word got around, as it always does in a small town, and Lizzie confronted me about the prayer thing. She blocked my entrance into the youth building (different event than the one with Carla) glared at me, and said, “So I heard you are praying for me. Why would you do that?” I gave her my most sincere answer possible, and this truly was the reason… I replied, “I prayed for you because I pray for everyone in our youth meets. Everyone needs to be considered, don’t you think so?”

Lizzie was so stunned that I hadn’t give her some snarky reply that she, who always had something to say, could not find the words to answer me. Others around her were trying to get in the door so she moved out of the door way and walked away without saying anything else to me. In that moment I felt that the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would do unto them” and the Proverb “A soft answer turns away wrath” were more true than I ever knew before.

After that day Lizzie never bothered me again and also seemed to have less to say to the other girls as time went on. I believe that small moment of showing kindness to Lizzie was the best thing I could have done for her.  So whether you deal with cyber-bullying or the in person version just remember: Sometimes the best way really is to “turn the other cheek” and “give a soft answer”…kindness can kill the hate, try it sometime and see!